The Awesome Tricky Box

Some like to have a simple, tight draw while others want an open draw to rival sucking on the Mersey tunnel. There are vapers who exhale discrete puffs, barely noticeable to all but the most irritating moaner. There are vapers who produce cloudbanks, which cause warnings on the shipping forecast, and there are vapers who do all manner of tricks. But the problem has always been that you have to set up your kit for one thing.

Not anymore.

We’ve designed something that is all things to everybody. You’ll be amazed at the simple beauty of the Stealthvape Vaping Vapebox For Vapers ™. OK, we admit, it doesn’t scrub up very well in photographs – but then neither did Audrey Hepburn without 3kg of makeup. That’s a fact we found on the internet – and the internet never lies. You can believe that because you are reading this on the internet.

This is a machine that blows O’s, does tricks, chucks out clouds of predetermined lengths (from amateur to comp winner) and even produces clouds resembling famous celebrities. You too will be able to make an octopus or make it look like your lounge has just been visited by the ghost of Giant Haystacks, the wrestler. For those who want to turn full pro, the Stealthvape Vaping Vapebox For Vapers ™ means sponsorship is almost definitely guaranteed – if you can find someone to pay you to vape.

How does it work? The box has two modes: blow and suck. The suck function is for those looking for simple vaping. The self-contained atomiser feeds up to the mouth using our patented Gobtube. The user friendly buttons allow the experience to be personalised in under three hours of easy button pressing.

But when it’s time to party, the blow function will give you tricks for days. The adult lock can be enabled to turn off the suck function meaning all your children and grandchildren can join in the vape japes and malarkey too.

The box has been future-proofed. Our downloadable interface will work on all the operating systems – both Windows 95 AND Windows 98. Not only that, we realise that the more technically advanced among you will now be using Windows XP and we will be launching a patch to accommodate that in 2019.

It’s fully customisable too with our range of exciting and useful range of accessories:

• Gobtubes in different colours and materials
• Extendable Gobtubes for vaping during commutes, riding motorbikes, marathon running or something like space exploration or whatever.
• Seeing a bandwagon to jump on, we’re also launching a range of Stealthvape Vaping Vapebox For Vapers switchback caps.
• External backpack juice reservoir with solar recharger so you can literally vape for days.
• Downloadable celebrity faces, animal shapes and rude objects for cloud formations.

We know that you’ll be as excited about this as we are, so we urge you to get on this quick. Demand will be through the roof, along with the price, so make sure you don’t miss out on owning your very own Stealthvape Vaping Vapebox For Vapers™.