Stealthvape Juice Range

So, we have been on the hunt for eliquid market niches where the Stealthvape brand could stand proud and strong. Befitting our tradition for breaking new ground and pushing the vape envelope, we believe we struck gold – and that you will be incredibly excited by the results too.

We’ve all listened to the nonsense about juice being targeted at children. Baseless allegations each and every one but, hang on we thought, it would make a great range. Welcome then: Stealthvape’s Junior Juice! The family that vapes together does something else together. We haven’t thought through that tagline properly as we were too busy inventing all of the flavour profiles.

The Junior Juice range shares a base centred on a popular rusk. Suitable for ages 3 months+, your tiny toker can pick his or her favourite from Calpol Cooler, Mummy’s Mammary or (our personal ADV) Smelly Bear Blanket. Colour-coded bottles ensure that your cute cloudmaker gets all the stereotypical imprinting they need while also benefitting from specially designed teats, ideal for dripping.

“Hang on a minute, Stealthvape,” we hear you cry. “It’s all fine and dandy sorting the kids but we want in on this too!” Fear not. We are working on rapidly expanding the brand mix to target other (guaranteed not to offend) niches. We are just waiting for the final bottle designs to be returned from the drunk in the park we outsourced the work to.

Close to completion: The Stealthvape Speaklouder range. Old people don’t like tobacco or fruit – we all appreciate this – we plan on delivering exactly what pensioners do desire: Sparkling Sanatogen, Lovely Cod Liver Oil With Cloves and Brilliant Boiled Cabbbage set on top of a luscious base that hints of socks.

Women will be ecstatic to find out we are planning unique range just for them too. Everything comes with a taste of glitter and you get to pick from Daring Duckface, Lucious Lillettes or Tremendous Twerk.

Finally, and we hope to roll this out by Father’s Day at the latest, the Manly Man range for Men containing three more liquid options. All set against the cliff face of the great flavour of Brut you will be able to opt for the amazingly good Taste of Grit, Scent of Sport – or maybe you will settle for Traditional Fight…it’s like a town centre on late Friday night in your mouth.

So, we need to say ‘thank you’ to the Youtubers who provided the inspiration and motivation to bring this to fruition. Excited? We bet you are.