The things you learn

In the same piece the reader can discover that with the largest of gorillas, ones weighing around twice that of a human, they have a fully erect penis measuring just two and a half centimetres. No wonder they can be a bit feisty. And the chimp’s testes are so large because they are constantly at it and therefore require a large supply of well, you can read the article if you’re so interested – or go buy the author’s book called The Cradle of Humanity.

It’s possible to hold opinions on things, like a team’s chance of success or whether global warming is really a thing, but it all seems rather pointless to cling to the original opinion if it is proved to be wrong. There’s little point wandering about and telling strangers in the street that England possess the greatest international football side when every couple of years the pubs fill with depressed souls praying for the tournament to finish as painlessly as possible.

You might think that Mother Shipton was bang on with her prophesies. You might reckon that if she’d gone to Ye Olde Ladbrokes she’d have made a mint on her amazing predictions. “For those who live the century through In fear and trembling this shall do. Flee to the mountains and the dens To bog and forest and wild fens,” she said.

Which means that as we ticked over into the 21^st century we’d all be struck by some incredible fear and leg it off up hillsides and into forests to live there. But we didn’t and, unless you are in a tent reading this on your telephone, neither did you. She was wrong and her believers are misguided. Shiptonites everywhere should line up and apologise to us for we have read something and digested its contents – we know more today than we did yesterday and we can use that knowledge to help us lead our lives.

It’s what we all do. We make a mistake, we learn from the mistake and then we try very hard not to make that same mistake again. Science and technology wouldn’t be the brilliant things they are without over two thousand years of people learning through discovery and error.

So, public health experts: when you come across evidence that debunks the cornerstones of your arguments, whenever you see evidence that contradicts you views, embrace it. Swear at it, break things and hurl food out of the window by all means. Do whatever you do when you are annoyed, that’s fine, but just don’t continue to tell us that up is down, England won the last three football world cups, and that you have bigger balls than a monkey.