Team Building

We want to turn those frowns upside down and see nothing but happy faces. There may be no “I” in Team but there is “Vagina Temp”, “Mega Van Pit” and  “Anti Amp Veg” in Team Vaping. So the question we posed ourselves was how we could get all the vapers in the world to come together, bond and think with a hive mind. And the answer is simple: The Stealthvape Corporate Fun Team-Building Activity Centre.

Located on the edge of the delightful Thurrock Business Park, our seven-story management event centre is all about idea showers, helicopter views, low hanging fruit and cascading information. Vapers can come and touch base offline or look under the bonnet of our interactive online strategic staircase. We don’t just have buzzwords, we have activities like:

• Get all your ducks in a row. Teams of vapers will endeavour, against the clock, to produce a 93-page report and give a presentation to one of us impersonating a public health expert. Bonus points will be awarded for the use of evidence-based proposals and accuracy of custard pie throwing.

• Put a record on and see who dances. We have all the records and an ample supply of alcohol. Drinking to excess, making a fool of yourself and laughing at each other the next morning has been a bonding method for centuries. The winning team will be the one who places the most stunt traffic cones on the artificial bus shelter.

• Run it up the flagpole. The outward-bound aspect to the course sees teams race against each other to be the first to traverse a route from Tilbury Docks, passed the sewage treatment works and finishing East Tilbury. Prizes will be earned by those who have contracted the fewest diseases; deaths count double.

In the space of a long weekend, groups of hitherto grumpy individuals bearing grudges for those who vape in a different manner will be transformed into shiny, smiley cohorts of thoroughly bonded chums.

Previous attendees commented in the book:

• “I never thought I could learn to love a clone user, but we’ve since been out for a number of dates and now we’re married.”
• “I used to throw rotten fruit at people I saw blowing clouds in the street – now I take them out for meals and free sex. Thank you Stealthvape Corporate Fun Team-Building Activity Centre!”
• “I remember thinking that everyone who bought boutique liquids was funny in the head. The team bonding activities really worked. I still think they’re not right in the head but I no longer leave bags of flaming excrement on their doorsteps. Cheers for everything.”

There you have it, the Stealthvape Corporate Fun Team-Building Activity Centre worked for them – it can work for you too.