Something’s Gone Wrong Again

Nausea: The body has a natural defence against poisoning and that is to evacuate itself. This amazing inbuilt warning system prevents vapers from taking too much nicotine in. Take a break, keep up with your fluids and you’ll be right as rain in no time.

Headache: Again, a secondary symptom from taking on board a touch too much nicotine, the body will break it down naturally and all will be right with the world. Studies have linked cluster headaches to excessive nicotine consumption and noted benefits from limiting intake.

Running out of juice: So obvious and yet so common among new vapers: As you gain experience and develop a range of flavours you enjoy you will find you always have a range in stock. Remember that ‘next day‘ delivery might depend on the vendor meaning ‘the next day after I post it’ and that Royal Mail now has a liberal interpretation on what 1^st Class means.

This juice tastes nothing like the description: What you taste is a combination of how your receptors work in the tongue combined with what you smell. These are highly individual to you and studies have even linked variation in taste perception to age, status, gender and BMI.

What may taste like a ripe watermelon to one person may resemble five-month old carpet slipper to someone else. Buying sample sizes or trying juices in stores is the only way to identify what will work for you. Some vendors sell stock flavours from a large manufacturer with their own label. Some brands are made using standard flavourings. Some juice producers use natural extracts during manufacture. Online forums are a good place to hunt out suggestions and advice.

I can’t taste anything: Vaper’s tongue hits everyone now and then and comes from the taste receptors becoming bombarded with similar sensations over a period of time. Sometimes changing juice can work – and some people break out a mint or menthol flavour to clean their palette. Others swear by a brushing of the teeth and some mouthwash (to gargle with not to vape!) – swapping between your favourite flavours ought to prevent it from happening.

But I still can’t taste anything: How old is your head? Wicks and coils build up carbon deposits over time and this cuts down on the atomiser’s ability to vaporise liquid effectively and taste wanes. Popping in a new head or changing your wick after a dry burn will bring happiness back to your mouth.

Battery running out of charge: A battery is a little chemical powerhouse in a tube, different makes last for varying lengths of time. The quality of the battery also impacts how well it will perform and how long it will last. The number declaring its mAh indicates how long it will last – but some manufacturers fib like an estate agent describing a box room.

A battery is only good for so many recharges, the number depending on the quality of the device you are using. You might need to look for a battery mod with a higher mAh rating to suit your needs or if this is a recent event then a replacement might be called for. Remember that the chemicals contained in a battery are not ideal for the environment and you ought to dispose of unwanted ones at a recognised recycling point.

Hot hot hot hot: A hot device/battery means something has gone wrong very wrong. It might hurt to have to do this but it should be disposed of. The heat indicates a short and excessive current passing through the battery that will have changed its chemistry. It might carry on working when cooled down but the heat given out earlier means that it is unsafe to do so. Recycle the battery and see if you can identify why it happened – if you can not rule out the atomiser it might short out a second battery too.

More leaks than the Titanic: With time seals stop sealing and wicks become tired – addressing these two should sort 95% of problems experienced. If a new head or seal doesn’t solve your issues then it may be time to let that ship go down and go shopping for a new one.

Cloud chasing looks fun: Dirty Harry said, “A man’s got to know his limitations” – how did you do in GCSE Science? Batteries have limits; it is vital that you know what you are doing before trying to build your own coils, as a venting or exploding battery is not what anybody wants to see. Forums contain a wealth of experience to help you on your way.

Poverty: A tragic side effect of collecting lots of different coloured and shiny vaping things, there are solutions but most of them remain illegal.

Shelf space: The need to buy a shelving unit to accommodate your supplies of wick & wire, replacement heads and lumps of metal is a natural progression from the tried and tested toolbox. Wanting to move house in order to accommodate them in a bigger room probably indicates that you finally have enough.

Needing a second fridge: Not many sentences ago you ran out of juice and never had enough but now the family berates you for taking up three of the four shelves in the fridge with litres of wonderful flavours. If you notice your partner visiting a legal advisor or your children becoming emaciated then it might be time to consider one of those small beer fridges for the table top.

Getting wood: Do you find yourself wandering country lanes and exploring lay-bys for wood? Is your partner becoming tired of your obsession with racks? It is highly probable this, like the desire for more wall space, is a clue that you might need to move some of your gear along. No one wants to see you on one of those Channel 5 “Hoarders” TV programmes.