Social Media

Social media can be a tool for good. The platforms available to us enable the fast transference of information and allow interactions with all manner of people. We are connected with and chat to powerful people. For example, we are now online friends with the Queen, Donald Trump, Putin, ISIS and Kim Jong-Un – which pretty much places the future of the world in our hands.

You can say what you like about Kim Jong-Un but he has never clogged up a timeline with details about his new personal best. Not once has he posted details of his latest run, pictures of him running and told everybody he’s never met how he is really in need of a hot bath to get rid of the post-run aches.

Kim Jong-Un might have created Pyongyang Time. He might be responsible for making all males in North Korea adopt his hairstyle and only have 3% of the roads paved – but he’s never inflicted his exercise hobby on anybody reading his Facebook profile.

So, we feel it is time for an entrepreneur to give vapers the same joy as those who ride about in yellow lycra. Of course, it is possible that vapers could don spandex outfits prior to competition vaping but this loses all meaning if nobody sees it – a bit like having a television show on Amazon Prime.

What we need is the vaping equivalent of Nike’s switched-on shoes so that vapers can amble about drawing highly inventive maps on Google Earth. What we need is something like Smok’s puff counter talking to Facebook on a second by second basis. Tell us all how many calories you lost this morning will you? Right, it’s war. Here’s how many drags I’ve taken this week and it’s going to be incrementally adjusted in real-time.

Nike build their brand loyalty on people buying their apps and products, but then using the app to draw people into tournaments and events like night runs. Vaping can do the same thing with midnight vapes to take the community up a level.

Of course this could have ramifications: once Martin McKee’s anti-vape squads start kicking in doors (because people have broken the Stop Safer Use of Nicotine Act 2019) then having an app that details your exact location could be problematic. But it would also track the speed at which you are running away from them, posting it onto your timeline and getting your freaky exercise friends interested in ecigs for the first time.

On second thoughts, maybe this kind of thing should be kept to places like North Korea, we’ll tweet Kim about it.