Making Mistakes

Standing at the side of the M4 waiting for a van to come and collect me, and the recently purchased Moto Guzzi (I really should have learnt from my experience of buying a previous Guzzi), won’t stop me getting a third. The rain had stopped falling on my waterproof jacket and was now proving that the manufacturer had taken liberties with the definition of the term waterproof. Maybe if they’d included the words ‘absorbent’ and ‘sponge’ they would have sold more? Maybe there’s a market for people who like to get and remain as wet as possible? I don’t know the answer to that; I haven’t completed any research into it. I can still close my eyes and picture the gravel and the roadside marker with water droplets forming rivulets randomly joining and shooting off at jaunty angles.

Sitting in the Sierra Estate, waiting to turn right into the petrol station forecourt, I hadn’t planned on having the car turned into a hatchback. When I woke that morning I didn’t make it my mission to catch my Old English Sheepdog as it flew from the back seat towards the window screen. I doubt the dog had planned on emptying its anal passage at that moment either.

Top tip: if you find that you are constantly being detained by the police and questioned for long periods of time try covering yourself in scared-dog diahorrea, you’d be amazed how quickly they complete their enquiries.

One fat Brit driving south on Highway 65 towards Mobile, Alabama; I noticed the absence of traffic, I noticed the trees, I even noticed and ignored the speed restriction signs. A shame I hadn’t taken time to find out why no one was about and people looked at me as if I was from another planet when I stopped for fuel and food. I put it down to my sparkling wit and dashing looks.

Top tip: If you are going to ignorantly drive headfirst into hurricane while on a road trip then make sure it’s one of the most devastating hurricanes to have ever struck Alabama.

The van driver who collected me from the motorway was a top bloke to chat to and I listened to his tales of broken machinery, the couple that took pity on the shit-stained sales rep and his trembling mutt were wonderful. They took us in, cleaned us up and made more cups of sugary tea than you could find at an Indian railway station. Those of us lucky enough to have experienced Hurricane Ivan, stranded in a bar in Greenville, would share the experience, the laughs and the conversation between total strangers but I suspect none of us were sober enough to remember it properly.

It’s all about the journey.

It’s not a mistake if it’s happenstance; it’s not a mistake if it’s a learning process. The older I get the more I come to terms with my limitations. When it comes to vaping it’s gennys and U-wicks.

Even I can’t look at that picture without laughing out loud, it’s abysmal. But, by the fourth attempt, I had begun to get something workable. The 300-grade mesh was wicking the liquid and the .23mm Kanthal did its job of not having hotspots. It doesn’t bother me that I’ve been contacted by a touring circus who wish to put it in their Hall Of Horrors, next to the bearded lady.

We are all at various stages of our journeys, my U wicks are roughly the same as my ability on the guitar and my garage is an every tool not a clue version. It doesn’t bother me because it all comes together with time and patience. If I hadn’t sheared the bleed nipple off my front brakes I’d not have had the conversation at the bike club. If I’d not had the conversation I’d not have been introduced to a bloke. If I’d not been introduced to the bloke I’d have missed out on 25 years of rock solid friendship.

Magazines and online articles won’t be having it, motorway service stations are full of books about all the mistakes you are making or about to make and how to avoid them. What is with a society that is constantly trying to guilt trip people into consumerist purchases? Especially that it is precisely those mistakes which will make you the person you are that I might meet in the future. I don’t regret anything because it’s all contributed to where I am now, knowing the people I know and living the life I lead – and I’m good with that.

I don’t make mistakes: I make life-enhancing opportunities. 😀