Vape Meets 2

The feeling of anticipation doesn’t lie in the train-spotter experience; it’s been a while since I’ve found looking at other people’s mods and attys remotely interesting. The joy of the Internet is not reserved to hunting out saucy pictures of cartoon ponies or shooting tanks – even if that is its main purpose – but online forums have an ability to suck likeminded folk together.

I’ve been fortunate to meet a collection of weird oddballs online that, if society had any sense, would be shunned by right-minded thinking folk. Weird oddballs who are right up my street and make me laugh – something BBC’s coma-inducing Miranda can only dream of. Of course, if you’ve been vaping for a while and using forums you’ll already know this: Vapers be like nice. In the main.

I’ve got juices that didn’t shine for me bagged up to give away, there’s a box with bits I sold all ready to be handed over to the new owner and now the slog comes…

To begin with each meet up necessitated that I take along my entire vape kit. I’ve no idea why, but I’d take bags full of wick, wire, juice and kit as if I had to prove I could coil to exactly one ohm after seven pints. This is a mistake – do not do it. Ever.

Each and every meet after this would see people thrusting all manner of atomisers at me. This went on for so long at the last one I barely had time to drink and could totally remember my name at last orders. My tip to the noob is this: pretend you are absolutely abysmal at everything; imagine you are vaping’s equivalent of Nicholas Cage, keen to do everything but unable to do anything in a convincing fashion. The less people rely on you to fix a short means you have more time for your quest to attain alcohol poisoning and your pub grub won’t get cold.

So my problem is this: I’m not taking anything other than a few tanks and a couple of mods. I need to plan ahead of time in order to predict what flavours I’ll be vaping over the course of 48 hours away from home. I have no concept of what type of curry I’ll be eating on Friday night, the chance of me successfully predicting what my vape whim will be on Sunday morning is non-existent.

And then there’s the battery issue: How come I find it impossible to leave home without taking the contents of Torchy’s ebay store with me? This is going one way, an ITV sitcom way because despite previous mistakes I know I’m going to end up repeating them again. Oh sod it – the wire can go in too.

The vape bag is empty but in an hour or so it’ll be bulging again. And come Sunday morning my head will be foggier than the pub was. And I’ll want to do it all over again.

Go to a vape meet.