Firstly, this gateway thing: The data says there’s no gateway, the experts say there’s no gateway – flip, even the Welsh government’s own health survey said there was no gateway. But, still, public health nannies insist on dragging it up. So if they aren’t going to read the reports or listen to harm reduction advocates, we thought they might be open to hearing from experts on the topic of gateways?

To this end, we have issued invitations to a number of gateway authorities. Firstly, that strange little lady from Poltergeist as she knew it all when it came to getting both in and out of the television set. Then we asked Ben Feldman. Although many might not have heard of Ben, his work on As Above, So Below marks him out on being a true portal expert. Lastly, and probably quite scary to some of a nervous disposition, several farmers from The Archers, for obvious farm gate reasons.

The public health bods also love to knock vaping because of the flavours available. It’s blindingly obvious that these are part and parcel of why eliquid works so well but, again, they aren’t listening. We need even more experts so we asked them. We’ve phoned up Heston Blumenthal and he’s agreed to come on board to explain how flavour works for adults. Also, Tori Amos replied to our postcard. “Will you choose fear, or will you choose love,” she sings on her misspelt and slightly boring song Flavor. Our final expert was born to take part as he, like vaping is cast to be, is a public enemy: Flavor Flav. We’re going to fight the power and say to Stanton Glantz: “Don’t believe the hype”.

We feel it is essential to have some giants in the scientific community in order to produce press releases on batteries. We are delighted to announce that Steven Hawking (black holes), Brian Cox (the one who says “amazing” all the time, not the one from Planet of the Apes), Spock (science officer) and Sheldon Cooper (Ph.D., Sc.D.). If Sheldon tells you that the problem is with people not understanding how an electrical circuit works – and not with vaping – you stay told.

Also, as a similar thing worked so well for Tony Blair, we have roped the entire cast of Casualty on board to put across the medical profession’s opinion on vaping. While some might have wanted real doctors – this lot will say anything we pay them to say, they’ll say it well and we get to arrange lots of gory accidents.

There’ll be no stopping us now, not with this incredible team. All thanks to Stealthvape – always thinking the unthinkable.

 

 

At the outset, let us just say that we adored Animaniacs. It’s important to remember this love as we plod through the next couple of sentences. Your dalliance with DC characters has been an “absolute failure”. Not our words, just something we read on Rotten Tomatoes. And every other movie review site.

Batman vs Superman? The dysfunctional Suicide Squad dialogue? And now you’ve contracted five independent scriptwriters to produce five different scripts for Wonder Woman? It sounds like you need some Stealthvape support.

Imagine the scene, it’s a dark and gritty sky over Gotham. Anyone but Ben Affleck is kicking back in the Wayne Mansion with his feet up on an old desk, vape curls up from his top lip. The door creaks, in comes Albert. “Master Bruce,” say the bent old man. “Not a lot of people know this – but there’s a new super squad of evil rampaging through town.”

We’re not even a couple of minutes into the film and we’ve already got cooler tech going on than anything Batbloke had in his belt. Everyone loves vaping these days. Vaping and killer dialogue from anti-heroes.

So who’s this evil gang? Joker? Messed-up face? The bloke who does lame riddles? Nope. It’s crossover time; movie fans love crossovers. Say hello to The Legion of Evil.

Flashback.

For Lion, Rabbit, Raccoon, Elephant, Pig and the other Care Bears this was just another normal day at the nuclear plant. Five minutes of mayhem later and the irradiated posse became bent on pandemonium and destruction. Or, as the witty but amoral Uncare Bear says: “Panda-monium”. She laughs after saying that. Killer dialogue.

Because evil.

Fast forward again. Batchap, his soul crushed by the perma-dark of Gotham but mainly by the last abysmal feature presentation can no longer face fighting crime. Albert is packing travel vape kits and the pair of them go off to live in Miami. As the plane takes off, Supervaperman’s vapemobile crushes the gravel in Batchump’s ex-driveway.

“Join my great fight against the malevolent horde,” implores Supervaperman. Plumes of cereal-scented vape clear to reveal yet another crossover moment. Surely it can’t be true? But it is. It’s none other than Ponies For Justice.

It’s the feel-good, fighting evil hit of next summer. It’s vapetastic explosions, clouds and snappy one-liners (designed to be the only things people remember and put into memes). The story arch is a rainbow, Rainbow Dash is a rainbow and even the rainbows in the films are rainbows. Rainbows, unicorns, ponies, evil bears and vaping – “it literally couldn’t be more exciting”, says the poster for people who don’t understand the meaning of literally.

We are prepared to act as consultants for the production of Supervaperman – Man of Feels; Dawn of Flufftice.

 

 

It is very rare that we come across vape items exuding this level of quality. It is exceptional that one atomiser can appeal to absolutely everybody (*except Mexicans, social democrats or terrorists). The atomiser was designed and built  100% in the USA by a Trump employee picking up the phone and calling China.

The first 1,000 units come in a gift box with a free sample of Trump Hair cotton wick – that works by placing a tuft at a jaunty angle on the top of the drip tip.

What can we say about it that the great man hasn’t already said to a large crowd while having people ejected by security: “I know lots of reviewers. I know the best reviewers. They are behind this atomizer 100% because they know I would not put my name to anything shoddy or likely to fail. And it won’t fail because I have all the vapes. I have the flavor vapes, I have the cloudy vapes, I have the vapey vapes. I have all the vapes. And this Trump atomizer, everyone wants it. Even people who don’t want to vape want it because they want a bit of me because I’m successful in everything I do.”

Benefits:

• It is the only atomiser that looks like one of Trump’s buildings.
• It is the only atomiser that stands a chance of defeating ISIS.
• It can even be held in small hands with cocktail-sausage fingers.
• It comes in a range of one colour, that being billionaire/cheesy gold.
• It would perform quite well during a televised election debate.
• Anyone calling it ridiculous will be sued.

So, The Trump Atomiser – coming soon.

 

 

As many will already be aware, the implementation of rules in the USA have given companies a push to get new products onto the market before August 8^th. The date is a deadline set as part of the Deeming Rule by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA).

Evolv have been working to produce products that are mindful of the work by Doctor Konstantinos Farsalinos, where he researched the production of compounds from e-liquid at elevated temperatures. This saw them driving innovation through technology focussed on harm reduction with e-cig use by temperature control.

While most seasoned vapers vape their ejuice without a second though for dry burning wicks, some saw a future in a board that could monitor its own and the coils temperature. Vapour could be customised with the earlier boards from Evolv through changing the power to the coil; wattage regulation was an evolution of the customisation that embodied the early vaping scene. The Kick and the DNA 20 were popular, spawning the DNA 30 that sat in many high-end mods of the time. Trouble kicked in when the company launched its DNA 40 as many saw the direct competition from cheaper Chinese rivals as having the potential to kill its prospects.

Concerns about the future for Evolv were kicked into touch when the firm released the ground-breaking DNA200. Despite bringing with it a collection of teething issues, the new product offered up the potential for mod makers to think outside the electronic cigarette box. While anti-ecig public health mouths-for-hire continued to portray vaping as a gateway to smoking for children, and questioned the efficacy of ecigs in general as a means to smoking cessation, the DNA 200 increased safety through the raft of customisable aspects incorporated in the Escribe software.

Quitting cigarettes and enjoying a vape took another leap forward as the benefits from the DNA 200 were bestowed on the DNA 75. For many, this represented real-world vaping and meant devices could use Lithium polymer packs, thereby reducing bulk.

And so to the new DNA 60.

Here is a new board that combines the reduced dimensions of the DNA 40, and the convenience of utilising 18650 Lithium-ion cells, but retaining the fantastic features of Escribe and the customisable advances (not forgetting the safety features) of the DNA 200 and DNA 75. Or, as someone on the Evolv DNA forum said: “Awesome.  The long awaited small format Escribe compatible DNA board becomes a reality!  Yeah!” Its size means it’s backwards compatible with products like the Hana V4D, and able to use the same charger to boot, as well as being excellent news for new mod designers.

The DNA 60 will offer a range of benefits:

·      Temperature protection – coil temperature is monitored via fluctuations in resistance and the power supplied adjusted accordingly. This means that “vapor production”, as the Americans like to say, can be maintained without dangerously high temperatures being reached and risking dry hits.

·      Preheating – coils take a finite time to reach the temperature at which ejuice begins to vaporise. With preheating, the chip supplies additional power to the coil to reduce the lag before it achieves its working temperature.

·      New coil identification – the circuit board will identify a change in atomiser and adjust output to suit.

·      OLED screen – smaller in size compared to the DNA 200/75 in order to reduce the dimensions of the mod or fit into devices currently using the DNA 40.

·      Multiple display information – regarding the wattage, voltage, temperature and ohms can be conveyed to the user.

·      Other display information – battery charge, room temperature, coil material name, total energy of the most recent puff, puff duration, board temperature and puff count.

·      Modes – stealth mode (our favourite for some reason) to prolong battery life, power lock mode to prevent accidental changes, resistance lock in case of reading creep and the ability to store eight vaping profiles to quickly obtain a desired vapour.

Safety monitoring is reported back to the user to highlighted any issues with atomiser problems, a short circuit, a weak battery, a problem battery, if the resistance is too low or too high, if temperature control has been triggered and if the chip has got too hot.

Manufacturers have the option to include an on-board 1 amp micro-USB charger as an alternative to removing the li-ion cell for recharging. Charging through the mod will be safe as the current output from the computer or socket will be detected and the device will only draw 1A. Likewise, polarity protection is included to protect the user, device and board from a wrongly inserted battery.

You can read about all of the features in full detail in the Evolv DNA 60 pdf.

If you’re interested in purchasing a board we would encourage you to sign up for notifications on the product page. This will guarantee that you will receive an email as soon as stock comes in – these are going to be popular and will sell out quickly.

 

 

Mr Kirkham had his hobbies. Oh how he had his hobbies. “It’s ridiculous,” Mrs Kirkham regularly took pleasure in pointing out. “Twenty-two men pointlessly chasing a ball around for 90 minutes. Twenty-two men who can barely string together a coherent sentence between the lot of them.”

Or the times she’d exclaim: “And what’s the point of that? A bunch of rich men driving around in a circle trying to find out who is the fastest this week, in cars you couldn’t take to Tesco because they don’t have a boot. It’s stupid.”

In a desperate bid to salvage some peace, Kirkham had accompanied his darling spouse to her first vape meet. Never again. The only redeeming feature of his night had been the well-stocked bar and it’s ability to help blot out most of the conversation. “There were grown men and women discussing wire,” he slurred on the way home in the taxi. “No, they were actually talking about sodding wire. I’ve heard some bollocks in my time but that really took the biscuit.”

He didn’t get why they needed to show each other what it was they were holding either. A metal tube is a metal tube – and a box with three buttons on it is hardly as interesting as watching City pass United off the pitch. Ohms? The only one he was interested in was the one he’d been dragged out of in order to attend the whole sorry proceedings.

“And what’s wrong with us talking about mixed-diameter Kanthal Claptons? It’s hardly like we were swapping tales of the time we saw ‘a DMU Thumper in the now extinct Pitsford sidings’.” She absolutely loathed that night out with the train spotting gang.

More than a couple of years ago there was common ground. It was ground where they’d park up the motorbike and drink, listening to awful rock covers then collapsing into a tent. But their opinions of what constituted a great night out had gone separate ways.

Now Kirkham would be laughed at for wearing his full football kit, despite his distinctly non-athletic appearance, while “the Mrs” would cop flack when she expressed delight at receiving vape things in the post. “Vapemail? It’s post that is delivered by a postman. Pfft, stupid bloody term.”

The casual observer might surmise that this is not a happy relationship but snapshots never tell the whole tale. Mr Kirkham loved Mrs Kirkham and she him. They shared a passionate love for their children, anything featuring Graham Norton and the fact that she no longer smoked. As far as he was concerned she was welcome to go to as many of those daft meets as she wanted to. She closed the front door, clutching her bag of assorted vape paraphernalia. Mr Kirkham smiled, opened a beer and turned on Sky Sports.

 

 

John was barely in long trousers in a time when celebrities of the day loved the fact that parents forced their boys to wear shorts. And while we are thinking about stupid things parents made children do in the 70s, why on earth would anyone send their child out of the house wearing a cap and carrying a satchel? Honestly, it’s not hard to see how this developed into a lifetime of struggle.

John stood in front of the cigarette machine hanging on the wall outside the closed shop. Many memories have been lost to him over the years, but buying that first pack of ten Embassy No.6 for twenty pence remains clear to this day. As does that evening, standing in the village bus shelter with the other Youth Club escapees, performing mouth inhales and wondering why people did this kind of thing for fun.

A decade on and he had progressed, as if there were a ranking system for smoking. Now the proud owner of a company car, a boot full of breakfast cereal samples and an expanding waistline, John smoked for England. A local shop readily exchanged cartons of Marlboros for cases of cereal to support his now forty-a-day habit.

John, Dave, Carol? I may as well be a boy named Sue. The appellation is as irrelevant as the background because every smoker began at some point and escalated. For most of that time we’ve convinced ourselves that we really enjoyed the habit, the smell and the wheezing. When we were young we were invincible. Sure, smoking causes diseases but we were destined to be one of those few people still happily smoking into their 90s. Our lungs were made out of stronger stuff than mere cells and tissue.

And we were all brilliant at quitting because (and told this line each time as though it was original) we’d done it loads of times. But you don’t quit a forty-fag habit just like you don’t stop a dependence on twenty; the numbers mean nothing, the addiction is everything. John was as successful at dropping the smokes as he was at convincing supermarkets they needed to stock more bran-based products. The world really doesn’t like bran for all it goes on about the need for us to be healthy.

Sue, Sophie, Bob or Kevin discovered vaping. They, you and me found a way out. If it is only as far as a substitute for smoking then at least it’s at least 95% safer according to the recent reports, but John was aiming to quit for good. Quitting for good for once and for all.

He remembers last Thursday as clearly as he remembered that day in 1976. Last week was the first time he purchased some 0mg juice. It forms part of the vaping journey that saw him initially using 24mg liquids before cutting to 18, then 12, then 6. Then 3mg. Some might like to knock the efficacy of vaping as a means to stopping smoking and curbing a nicotine addiction. Some might like to talk to Gary, Clare, Helen, Josie, Jim and Gary. They might like to talk to Dave because, although they may consider it only anecdotal, there are quite a lot of Daves doing it.

 

Evolv product Limited Warranty

 

The warranty provided by Evolv does not affect your statutory rights and is supplied in addition to them.

 

Evolv provides a non-transferable warranty (meaning it only applies to the buyer of the board and as long as they are a consumer and not producing mods for sale) to the purchaser of any Evolv product purchased from Stealthvape. We are an authorised Evolv reseller.

 

Evolv warrants that the product will be free from defects in material and workmanship for 90 days and a whole year for DNA products. The date of this cover starts on the date of purchase.

 

Evolv state that its entire liability and your exclusive remedy for your Evolv product that is not operating in accordance with its published technical specifications is to repair or replace the product at Evolv’s expense. This warranty obligation is conditioned upon the hardware being returned to Evolv or another place as directed by Evolv, with the original sales receipt and completed RMA form attached.

 

You may be required to pay shipping and handling charges, as well as any applicable tariffs, duties, taxes, or other fees. Evolv may, at its discretion, provide new or equivalent-to-new refurbished parts in good working condition, or repair or replace the hardware returned to Evolv.

 

Any repaired or replacement hardware will be warranted for the remainder of the original warranty period and not for a further 90 days/12 months.

 

Exclusions

This warranty does not cover problems or damage resulting from, but not limited to, any of the following:

• Wear and tear associated with normal use
• Any modification, abuse, accident, disassembly, misapplication, or unauthorized repair
• Any improper operation, including any use not in accordance with any product instructions
• Cracked, broken, or otherwise damaged display (OLED)
• Any other cause which does not relate to a product defect in materials or workmanship

 

Returning Your Product

Stealthvape handle returns on behalf of Evolv for products sold by us to UK customers and for the first six months of the warrantee period. Contact us in the first instance to inform us of the issue and we will arrange repair or a replacement board in accordance with the terms listed above. For customers outside the UK you will need to contact Evolv directly as detailed below.

 

In the event that you need to return your Evolv product for repair after this six-month period, Evolv will provide you with a Return Merchandise Authorization Form as well as return instructions. Do not return your product without prior approval from Evolv. Any product returned without a valid RMA Form will be refused and returned to the sender at the sender’s expense.

 

Request a Return Material Authorization Form

To request an RMA Form email Evolv at helpdesk@evolvapor.com or use the ‘Contact Us‘ link provided on this website

 

What is a Warranty/Guarantee?

 

A guarantee is given free by a manufacturer and isn’t enforceable by law, it’s a promise from them that they’ll repair or replace a product if faulty. A warranty does the same thing but you tend to pay for those and therefore they are enforceable in law. The warranty will tend to state exactly what faults will and will not be covered.

 

They will state: “this does not affect your statutory rights” because the promises are in addition to your rights covered by law.

 

 

Who has the responsibility for fulfilling obligations under a warranty/guarantee?

 

The manufacturer of the product is the body offering the warranty/guarantee and the customer has to contact them directly for all repairs or replacements. But this is an (effectively) insurance policy in case you are having issues getting satisfaction under your statutory consumer rights.

 

 

 What are the statutory rights?

 

The things you buy must be of satisfactory quality for the price, be fit for the purpose they are to be used for, lasting a reasonable length of time and to match any description according to the Consumer Rights Act 2015.

 

 

Changing your mind

 

If you change your mind after purchasing online you have 14 days to cancel your order then a further 14 days to return the goods. You need to inform the vendor that you are doing this. This is extended to one year and fourteen days if your vendor hasn’t told you about your cancellation rights. The goods must be returned in as new condition although the original packaging can be missing.

 

To cancel a contract you (usually) have to let the vendor know in writing – and although some may accept a phone call it’s in your own interests to have a copy of the letter, email or form used for future reference. Sending letters by recorded delivery means you have evidence the vendor received it.

 

 

Rejecting broken or malfunctioning goods

 

Within 30 days, you can return faulty goods to the seller for a full refund. After 30 days you lose the right to reject the goods and have to settle for a repair or replacement. After six months, it is the buyer who has to prove the goods were faulty in order to obtain a repair or replacement – this is when it is best to use any warranty/guarantee.

 

 

Except?

 

If you have damaged a product during installation or use then neither the vendor nor the manufacturer have any responsibility to repair or replace. Some items such as regulated mod boards require inspection prior to installation – it is deemed that you have done this if you go on to install it in a mod.

 

 

Posting

 

You need to return the goods by the cheapest available option and the vendor has to refund you if the contract is being cancelled within 14 days or the goods are faulty. It is wise to obtain a signed-for option as this proves they received the goods although you will not be able to get them to pay for this.

 

 

Refund

 

The vendor has 14 days to refund you after you have cancelled the contract or they have received the goods. If they do not receive the goods you can be liable for the cost.

 

 

Consumer Rights Act 2015 or manufacturers warrantee/guarantee?

 

Some vendors will tell you that you need to contact manufacturers to sort out any issues. All of the above rights accorded to you under the Consumer Rights Act apply to all vape-related purchases – do not be fobbed off.

 

 

Fakes and counterfeits

 

Vapers are well aware that the market is flooded with clones and knock-offs but that doesn’t make it legal for these things to be sold. If you have an issue with fakes or counterfeits we suggest you read this page produced by Citizens Advice.

 

 

“Dear Auntie Stealthvape,

I was one of the millions of people upset by the outright banning of DDT in the 70s. I love everything about the Monsanto Company almost as much as I hate insects and therefore jumped with joy when I was told that the nicotine eliquid contained in my juice was a powerful insecticide. Can you confirm this for me and suggest the best method to banish all manner of invertebrates from my domicile?

Yours, Jeremy Flange, Belper”

 

Dear Jeremy, I checked with the Daily Mail and can confirm that they are unable to substantiate claims that it is an effective means of pest control. But do not weep as I have discovered a brilliant way to transform juice into a thorough bee basher: the plans for R.J. Wagner’s high velocity liquid droplet weapon for space warfare gun. Please write back and send pictures of your successes.

 

“Dear Auntie Stealthvape,

I find myself facing the prospect of the in-laws coming over but our downstairs bog is an utter state. Personally, I’d rather not go to the expense of purchasing some toilet cleaning products and wondered if I could use my eliquid to kill them to save my embarrassment?

With love, Gladys Citalopram, Cheam”

 

Dear Gladys,thank you for your letter, you really made me laugh. Who amongst us can honestly say we haven’t wondered the very same thing? Unfortunately all those stories in the Daily Mirror were nonsense and eliquid will not do the job for you. This is where the solid mechanical mod is your friend, the larger the better for bludgeoning.

 

“Dear Auntie Stealthvape,

We find ourselves in the most invidious position. Our new neighbours moved in last month and turned out to be none other than professor Stanton Glantz. Within days he was leaving his sloppy thinking all over our lawn and littering the street by lazily parking his daft notions. Do you think we should dig a big pit, fill it with eliquid and cover it with copies of the Public Health England report or move?

Thanking you in advance, Bert and Ernie, Queens”

 

Oh you poor loves, you have my deepest sympathies. Some might suggest sprinkling tiger excrement along your flowerbeds although this can be problematic to get hold of in New York. Probably the best course of action for you is to find something he is afraid of, like Efest batteries. Plant each one an inch into the ground at one foot distances around the perimeter of your property. The Glantz will be so petrified of explosions he will move back to the West Coast immediately.

 

“Dear Auntie Stealthvape,

I have spent the best part of my last two weeks looking for all of the formaldehyde I was warned about. I can’t find it anywhere. I’ve looked in my vape box, inside every juice bottle and atomiser. It’s nowhere to be found. Is it possible it all fell down the back of the sofa?

Thanks, Barry Tinfoil, Bunny”

 

Good afternoon, Barry. You didn’t tell me where you bought your juice. I agree, according to the press reports it ought to be overflowing with aldehydes and it sounds like you have been badly let down by an errant manufacturer. In the first instance, I would suggest you contact the liquid maker. Most responsible ones will happily replace the bottle and also send you a free bag of diacetyl by way of an apology. In the meantime, in order to get your fix of formaldehyde goodness, just pop along to the nearest forest and breath in deeply (as the trees give it away for nothing, the fools).

 

“Dear Auntie Stealthvape,

I took up vaping in order to impress other people but I’ve been told by my mates that the Europe wants to ban everything. Not just my vape stuff but, like, you know, everything. I could probably get by without Jeremy Kyle, the house and oxygen – but my DNA200 mod? No way. Are you aware of any armed insurrection groups with a vaping bent I could join?

Peace out, Foxy Knickers, Basildon”

 

Dear Mr Knickers. Surprisingly, despite having names like ‘The Vaping Militia’, the vape community is thin on the ground when it comes to an armed struggle. Ever since a sub-forum on Mumsnet was caught stockpiling anthrax the government has been pretty hot on clamping down on social media groups. I tried using a strong torch to look at the dark net but it was just like daytime net only with the computer off. Until collections of like-minded individuals coalesce on the cliff tops of Kent, your best bet is to catch a cross-channel ferry and hurl swearwords at the dock workers in Cherbourg. Whatever you do – do not disembark or they will throw cheese at you. I strongly suggest you consider making up a post-EU apocalypse bag containing 17 litres of nicotine base, three tons of cotton wool and 5m of Kanthal.

 

“Dear Auntie Stealthvape,

I read your reply to Jeremy Flange and was surprised you did not suggest publicly shaming the insects on Twitter. I use public shaming for everything – just this week I posted thirteen tweets under an anonymous name criticising my Kraken V2, and that sorted it out a treat. I guess it helps that I am very rich and have all the best internets. You should see the size of the firewall I built and made Bill Gates pay for. It’s the best wall ever.

Vote, Donald Trump, The best apartment in the best building in the country that I’m going to make great because I’m rich

P.S. I’m going to make a brilliant atomizer called the Trump Atomizer. I’m fantastic at designing atomizers and this is a better atomizer than Hilary could ever make – if she was even allowed to make one. I don’t know, I’ve never ever heard of her so I don’t know. We’re going to have a great atomizer…it’s going to be a terrific atomizer.”

 

Thank you for the input, Donald, I had forgotten how powerful the written word can be. Especially when that word is written on a rock and hurled with force. I tried this technique on a coil hot leg problem and it cleared up the issue instantly, something for us all to bear in mind there. I hope your atomiser plans are as successful as Trump Airlines.

 

 

Firstly, and we gave this no second thought, we are now refusing to accept the new £5 note. Every time a payment is now made via card or through PayPal we write to them to ensure only normal money is being paid into our account. We are now spending half a day a week going to the bank to look inside our account to make certain that no fivers have slipped through the net.

While we believe the nearest thing to heaven is a bacon sandwich (or a Porterhouse and chips when hungry), we do understand the objections of money being made out of them. Actually, we don’t. Most of the objections skipped us by, but we are pretty certain they have something to do with there being less bacon and steak about – a pretty horrific scenario we’re sure you agree.

Also, it’s not certain that anyone had thought about what would happen if a note was dropped in a field and eaten by a cow. That would make it a double cow and therefore make burgers cost more. The Royal Mint has really dropped the ball on this one. Maybe.

This isn’t a first, we have been at the cutting edge of animal rights within vaping – we just didn’t like to talk about it. Last year, Stealthvape became the very first vape accessory company to certify that none of our kanthal type wire was manufactured using the whiskers of ocelots. None of our competitors offer you that guarantee and, we think, that says quite a lot.

It is progressive, sensitive policies like this that spurred us on to appraise our other products like the wick materials. None of the cotton is tested on puppies. Anymore. True, we used to put loads of cotton wool balls into a room and release baskets of puppies to romp about, but we were never really sure why. It was very cute though. But as sweet and loveable as the situation was, we are a company for the 21^st Century and recognise that this has no part to play in modern vaping.

Unlike other companies (who we will not name), we do not force our goldfish to eat DNA chips. It’s a barbaric practise, wholly unjustifiable, and one that we haven’t nor never will partake in. We call on these other companies (again, the law prevents us but you know who) ‘stop harming the goldfish’.

You can always rely on Stealthvape. All products guaranteed not to contain or be tested on *cute animals.

*Animals that aren’t cute may be fair game though, but we’re going to wait to find out which direction the Internet flaming-torch mob are heading first.