It is incredible how inventive the human mind can be after it has spent an hour in the company of one of the world’s greatest idiots. Being confined in a room the size of a cupboard with someone who defied the odds to become the least qualified person to run a department really focuses the concentration. Focuses it on anything but what is dribbling from his mouth. And so it came to be that this article can help the entire independent vape industry.
This is it, it’s here and there’s no going back. No, not the election result (which is confusing as everybody claims to have won), but the new post-TPD world. There’s a chill wind blowing, dust is kicked up from empty streets – don your protective gear (see last week’s blog for details) and enter the apocalyptic landscape.
“I can not tell a lie,” I said to mother, with no knowledge of trees or axes. “I did not hide those Subbuteo goal posts.” There was an issue, the goal posts weren’t mine and they’d amazingly vanished shortly after my brother argued with me. It was puzzling, the combined minds of Kojak, Columbo and the cast of The Wire were unable to get to the bottom of it.
A sad by-product of the boom in vaping is that it has attracted a bad element. Yes, it’s only a handful of wrong’uns, but they cause distress and upset to decent people. Stealthvape would like to ask for your help in tracking down one thief in particular, who took a personal iPhone that belonged to a popular member of the Van Dykes Vapes team.
It’s easy at Christmas time, because if a present turns up that you don’t fancy it’s a simple trip into town on Boxing Day. One believable story later and a refund or exchange is complete. Mind you, it doesn’t work so well for in-laws. Fancy a life in leather trousers? Once ordered online, you get the chance to try to channel the spirit of Jim Morrison before exchanging them for some Chinos.
Hands up everybody who enjoys paying tax so much that they’d like to pay even more tax in the future? Hmm, it doesn’t seem as though there are many who would qualify as tax lovers. The EU Commission is currently asking for European citizens (of which we still are) for their ideas regarding placing an extra tax on vape equipment and liquids. If you haven’t already let them know what you think then you’ll need to hurry to beat the deadline.
The signs are there, literally, extolling the benefits of taking a break now and then. Going hard at something to get it completed is all well and good, but when tiredness kicks in there’s a mistake soon to be looming. Every driver has seen the signs on the motorways or major holiday routes – park up and kick back for a bit. A vape company claims that they have evidence nonsmokers would like smoke breaks too.
You never know when a crisis will hit. Imagine the typical scene: it’s a sunny day, barely a cloud in the sky, and everybody is happy. It’s just another ordinary day in this land we like to call home. But what’s that? Over there, what’s that?
Do you remember when everything was Top of the Pops albums and Clackers? Maybe you only cast your mind back far enough to recall Nirvana coming from your sister’s room and the smell of oven chips? Or maybe you suffered a head trauma and don’t recollect Pogs or skateboards or Katie Hopkins? If you fall into the last category then you won’t be moaning about modern life and we are all jealous of you. You are a very lucky person.
When we were younger we had them. Maybe it was Batman? Maybe it was that bloke who used to hang around the park with a bag of sweets? Maybe it was Hans Hollen Nielsen, winner of 22 speedway world championships for Denmark? But we had them, we all had heroes. I don’t know about you, but I’m struggling to picture a scene where a six-year old has a photograph of Martin McKee or Simon Chapman on their wall.
