After another interface with one of the world’s worst people (I checked, there’s an official list), it struck me that maybe the best way to improve the profile of vapers within society is simply to remind them about the swarms of people who are genuinely annoying, pointless or perform meaningless functions.
The shop had been buzzing for almost three years. Gavin was forced to be prudent as his temptation was to buy a new car, but Jayne kept him focussed. “We need to invest in stock, we need to build the business,” she’d say. “The world and her wife are opening new vape businesses. If we don’t do this proper we’ll not survive.”
‘They’ say that it’s darkest just before dawn although this is clearly nonsense otherwise the birds wouldn’t know when to begin making a din. But it all seemed a bit bleak for vaping, and then got bleaker with the Tobacco Products Directive coming into effect today. But ‘they’ also say that it’s not over until a plus-sized lady starts flexing her vocal muscles. We have been given an opportunity.
Who loves sport? Everybody adores sport, that’s who. But they particularly flip out over tournaments. This summer has been incredible for international exercise fans. Lots of people, like at least a hundred, recently enjoyed the kickball thing in France – and then were ecstatic when TV was cancelled for a hitball fortnight in Wombledon. Next up, lycra-clad types will be jumping up and down or running about a bit in South Zikavirus. It only stands to reason that Stealthvape should enter the fray with a vape-related championathon.
For far too long vapers have had to suffer the fraught and flawed process of trading their previously loved devices online. Stealthvape are prepared to step into the breach once more – and plan on launching the greatest online vaping experience since two blokes thought people would like to see them mumbling and sharing in-jokes.
OK, this is going to take some doing on the part of a lot of people, but vaping needs it. In order to spread the message and encourage smokers to make the switch to vaping we are going to have to take direct action. The Tobacco Products Directive supposedly outlaws advertising the benefits of an ecig – so it’s up to us. You, me and Fat Dylan from the bus stop. It’s up to us to make vaping sexy.
What is it? What is ‘Love Island’? I know it’s a TV show because I heard people talking about it over the weekend but, without rushing to a search engine, I have absolutely no idea what it is. It’s not that I delight in proclaiming my lack of pop culture knowledge; it’s more that (at my age) I’m worried more important stuff will be pushed out if I learn about something new and irrelevant.
We don’t know the outcome of the today’s voting but it matters not, we are predicting the future. It’s something we are really good at. We predicted all the things that have happened and you can’t prove different because we did. We know exactly how it will play out in the homes of vapers. More or less.
Everybody that isn’t a teenager knows that the best things in life existed in a time before they became a drain on the combined parental income. We sought out an expert and found a man drinking Buckfast in the park. “It’s true,” he said while using a tree as a public convenience, “retro chic is driven by adults seeking to relive the carefree days of no responsibility.”
It is with sadness and a sense of loss that we welcomed the news of Mark Drakeford’s passing (as the Minister for Stupid Ideas and Silly Grins). We are sure we are not alone when we say that we’ll miss his frequent comments. Welsh politics will be all the poorer for his sideways move so we have come up with some suggestions for his party to consider.
