Author Archives: Rob Ellard
I’ve been vaping for 18 months now and have never had the inclination to enter into a competition of wits and bandwidth. Well, probably not a lack of inclination but rather a lack of money or knowledge anything requiring an F5 key was taking place.
This changed on the day I swapped a Panzer for a GP Paps 2.5 Lux.
You know the feeling you probably had as a kid when an Aunt, who always gave socks as presents or cards with the wrong age on, suddenly appears as though she was struck down by an incurable dose of wonderful? The present you were opening didn’t feel soft and you were racking your brain trying to invent a different plausible ‘thank you’ from the rehearsed “I really needed some new socks and these are brilliant – I love flowers, thank you Auntie!’
And you opened it. And it was truly awesome; like a robot with real lasers or a jetpack or something.
And you were speechless.
That was me.
I’d never seen a Paps before bar pictures and, to be frank, I wasn’t that impressed. Holding its 350 mightiness though, pushing the button, it was just one of those moments when you shout, “Yes!” as a whisper. Gold glinting from the battery adjustment screw may rank up there with Chav bling but it just works as a whole. A shiny whole where less is more, understated by virtue of the simplicity of the device and the quality imbued by attention to detail during manufacturing.
A new world opened up, curtains drawn from that aspect of vaping reserved for those who find the gaudy Pinoy engraving offensive to the eye. I got it, I really understood why a simple tube could hold a fascination.
With some savings in the bank I went hunting online for videos, reviews, anything related to Vapourart. Even languages I didn’t understand were fair game as long as I had music playing and a full pint next to me.
I’ll sing the virtues of a Mac computer everyday of the week but I was stumped. If I wanted to buy an X 1.5 Lux I had to be online this Tuesday, at 7pm prompt, and compete with the rest of the world after one from the limited stock going on sale.
It was easy to see what was missing when I lost out on the race for the affections of Caroline Phillips. My best mate had a motorbike. On the nights she told me she was going to stay in for a bath and some TV she was really grabbing onto his midriff. She was feeling the twist of the throttle pressing her back into the seat and making her hug on even tighter. With every peg-scraping corner her thoughts were driven by adrenaline and excitement – I could never compete by offering her a croggy on my 10-speed racing bicycle.
It was easy to see what was missing from my quest to net this Paps too – I have no F5 button.
How in the blue blazes of flip do you compete in an F5 war without an F5 button? Especially if your computer has a dodgy keypad, no mouse and massive cracks from where I’d hit it the night before with a Nemesis after tripping over one of the dogs.
No F5 button, no mouse, knackered screen, malfunctioning Magic Trackpad ™ and a pair of children. It’s at times like this you need special reserves of patience and to discover the hitherto unknown cmd-R Macbook function.
In the village we have broadband powered by a couple of field mice; when you have a daughter watching Netflix and a son using his Xbox (to kill pedestrians and prostitutes) it is slower than an old man driving on a motorway wearing driving gloves.
I’m not patient by nature.
At 7pm twenty-seven minutes of frustration, anger, more frustration, panic, even more frustration and some added fear ensued. I was all keyed up; this had gone from something I fancied buying to something I had to get. Why wasn’t this an episode of Star Trek? Why couldn’t I command someone to “Make it so”?
What I got was the screen going blank, the account not being recognised, refreshing, creating a new account, the screen going blank, refreshing, the website not appearing, refreshing…it seemed as inexplicable and longer lasting than Hugh Grant’s acting career.
The adrenaline buzz at the end though, the rush when I got to the order accepted stage – I’ve experienced some highs in my time, this was up there. Utterly ridiculous, I know, that a grown man should get so intense and immersed in the process of buying a metal tube. But, hey, this one comes with a pouch.
I caught the gaze of pity combined with disappointment from across the room. The wife is still searching for my personal F5 button.
And on that note we would like to say a big thank you to Goffed for this lovely feedback posted on the Planet Of The Vapes forum:
If you do remember Saturday Night Live then you’ll also remember Harry Enfield’s character screaming out the 80’s slogan “Loadsamoney!”
The stakes are high. The latest figures, from 2012, say that we as a nation spent £15.1billion on tobacco and the current estimate is that vaping will overtake smoking by 2023.
In Wales there are moves to ban vaping from enclosed public spaces and work areas. Consequently, if this interests you, you might wish to watch to the speech given by Kirsty Williams to the Welsh Assembly where she says that there is “no justification” for a ban in Wales. As speeches go, and I try to avoid them if I can, it is a good one. Passionately, logically she explained the logical fallacies to the other members, pointing out that people vape “to help them stop smoking or helping them stay stopped.”
In stark contrast to the goings on across the Atlantic, where a lot of media coverage is being given to the notion of vaping being a gateway into smoking, Kirsty Williams told the assembled that there is “no evidence” that this is the case.
Additionally, if you feel so inclined, Public Health England published independent evidence papers on e-cigarettes, on the 15th May, which will form part of the terms of reference for any impending laws. Worth reading if you are interested or suffer from insomnia.
Finally, if you are new to all of the comings and goings, or have just got lost, the arguments are summed up very well on the Saveecigs blog, in response to some of the points made during the debate in Wales.
In fact, we’re seeing an unprecedented deluge of mods and atomisers from that part of the world with new models being announced on an almost weekly basis. And this is a problem. Well, to you this might not be a problem. To you problems might be what kind of curry to order tonight, whether to go with wine or beer and the fact that the postman still hasn’t delivered your vapemail.
In life I have three main problems: firstly, now the weather is nice I have the doors of the lounge open while I work. No problem there, you say. Now factor in the neighbours who shout a lot, have screaming children they swear at and possess the worst combined selection of music any person could have inflicted upon them. Odds are that you have or had neighbours like this or, if you are my neighbours, turn the damn tripe down.
My second problem is quite a challenging one – I own fourteen mods. No man or woman can possibly use all fourteen at once, not even in rotation. But the constant updates on websites make it impossible not to buy more. I’m currently waiting for my invoice from Mikro Engineering for my Challenger Mk.II – that’ll make it fifteen. To be honest, this isn’t the real problem it’s what it leads to.
It creates problem number three. It is the one thing that vexes me most about vaping. I’ve got a toolbox; in the top compartments I store my charged batteries and my drip tips. On the wooden rack I built from part of my daughter’s ex-bed sit my range of attys. So the issue is that at any given moment I have to choose one from fourteen mods, one of three different battery sizes, one from fourteen attys, one from thirty drip tips and one from twenty four flavours.
That’s 423,360 possible combinations.
Four hundred and twenty-three thousand three hundred and sixty possible vape combinations! This ridiculous array of options for a man who struggles to decide whether to have a Jal Frezi or a Madras. When standing in the drinks aisle I can never decide between imported or home-brewed beer. This is the first time I’ve ever looked at this as a number, frankly I’m stunned.
But this problem doesn’t sit there, there’s the option of whether to go for Voodoowool, cotton, mesh, A1 Kanthal wire (which diameter?), ribbon (which width?), number of wraps, what resistance I think I might fancy and if to opt for single or dual wicks.
And then there are aesthetic considerations. For example, there is no way you could get away with a blue drip tip on a tarnished brass Kraken sitting proudly on a red aluminium Nemesis tube with a polished stainless switch & stealth cap and a polished brass lock ring. One minute you’re constructing a set-up to vape with, the next you’re looking at something as gaudy as a house covered in Xmas lights
I probably spend more time pondering whether or not the combination goes together than I do wicking and vaping the thing.
Life was so much easier when all I had was a Vamo and a Protank. I need a 21st Century Kepler to plan out a simple law of mod selection; either that, or a 21st Century Brahe to threaten to run me through with a sword if I don’t make my choice in 60 seconds flat.
I haven’t even touched upon the time spent online window-shopping.
Batteries
There are many places on the Internet where you can find out about batteries but this counts for nothing if you purchase a clone by mistake.
Brand names like Efest, Panasonic, AW, Sony, MNKE should only be purchased from highly recommended suppliers. Some brands like AW will only sell through authorised resellers and there was a spate of clones on the market recently. In short, do your homework.
There are many good forums like Planet of the Vapes and UK Vapers where people will answer your questions.
A good vendor will be able to provide you with the performance details about the battery. The good news is that there are a growing number of batteries able to cope with a constant current of up to 30amps. With all vaping, ensure that your battery uses “safe chemistry” and follow Rule.1: Never scrimp when buying batteries.
Ohms Law
From when you first started coiling your atomisers you ought to have drummed V=IxR into your mind, where V is the battery voltage, I is the current in amps and R is the resistance in ohms.
To find out what current you are sending through your mod you need to divide the maximum battery voltage (commonly taken as 4.2V) by the total resistance.
When you are measuring the resistance of your atomiser make sure that you use a quality ohmmeter (like this one) capable of reading to two decimal places.
Parallel Coils
If you don’t know how to work out the total resistance when you place coils into parallel (dual/tri/quad) then bookmark this page and it will work out the total resistance for you.
|
Current from a fresh 4.2V battery |
|
|
Resistance |
Current |
|
0.95 ohm |
4.40 amps |
|
0.90 ohm |
4.70 amps |
|
0.85 ohm |
4.90 amps |
|
0.80 ohm |
5.25 amps |
|
0.75 ohm |
5.60 amps |
|
0.70 ohm |
6.00 amps |
|
0.65 ohm |
6.50 amps |
|
0.60 ohm |
7.00 amps |
|
0.55 ohm |
7.60 amps |
|
0.50 ohm |
8.40 amps |
|
0.45 ohm |
9.30 amps |
|
0.40 ohm |
10.5 amps |
|
0.35 ohm |
12.0 amps |
|
0.30 ohm |
14.0 amps |
|
0.25 ohm |
16.8 amps |
|
0.20 ohm |
21.0 amps |
|
0.15 ohm |
28.0 amps |
|
0.10 ohm |
42.0 amps |
Juice
When you are vaping at low ohms you might want to consider using a lower nicotine liquid than you would normally vape. The volume of nicotine entering your body is greatly raised and you can suffer from headaches and nausea. Serious cloud chasers often opt for a zero nicotine high VG liquid.
*Warning*
As a final caveat, in some research carried out by Doctor Igor Burstyn and Dr Konstantinos Farsalinos it has been identified that acrolein and formaldehyde are formed at high temperatures/low ohms/high currents/high voltages. Although there is more research to be completed in this area, to discover at what quantities and how harmful, it is one reason why some people shy away from low sub-ohm vaping.
Then there’s the online market research I’ve just completed. It was for the most nauseating toilet paper campaign imaginable. In fact don’t try to imagine it – I sat through it and it made me want to hurl the Mac against the wall. On the angry scale of 1 to Michael Gove it made me reach ‘being forced to watch a soap opera’.
I realise that people who work in advertising aren’t like us normal folks, I realise that they don’t understand us, but nothing had prepared me for that. The horror of something so banal it would make the One Show seem edgy.
Rob’s picture was of the new atomisers, the Clone atomisers. It’s cracking, not least because of the glorious self-deprecating logo emblazoned on the front. Irony is so undervalued. If a product has a unique angle it doesn’t need daft advertising.
And it got me thinking about ecigarette advertising.
We’re forever reading (well those of us stupid enough to click on the links) articles which claim the flavours of liquids are being designed to draw unsuspecting children into nicotine.
Who is this evil genius? Does Billy King sit there with the child catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, rubbing their hands together and producing a combined evil laugh at the thought of Monkey Jizz? Does Mark VaperCaper make his Cucumber Cooler as some dastardly plot, to take over the world, under the instruction of Pinky & The Brain? Has Baron Greenback conspired with Jim the Kraken to ensnare children with Squid Ink?
Clearly, the answer to all three scenarios is ‘Yes’ but that’s not the point. I’ve not seen one advert for those juices in any magazine aimed at teens. And I get them all. Neither have my kids reported spotting Mrs. Lord hanging around their school gates offering free samples of Marmalade juice. They don’t even like Marmalade.
The thing is I carried out some market research recently and 100% of the one adult I asked replied that they enjoy all four eliquids. The obvious correlation is that these flavours were engineered to hook me in to buying them and therefore need serious legislation putting in place. I need protecting from my personal tastes by an autonomous body, responsible to no one, to protect me from making decisions.
One only needs to point out that I am the person who (after quite a few beers on several Saturday nights) bought the following on eBay: an unseen motorbike, a narrow boat and a copy of Whispering Grass by Windsor Davies and Don Estelle.
Yes, I need protecting from myself.
I need protecting from buying enough drippers emblazoned with a Star Wars symbol to kit out an entire Clone Army.
I’m not alone.
There are the people who are addicted to the New Products page on FastTech. There are the people who visit SHMOvapes so often that their F5 button has a different hue to the rest of the keyboard. And what about the vast numbers of people who physically wet themselves at the news Vapist had stocked The Rose II?
Children make great choices in life. Give my kids an option and they’ll make popcorn and spend their days watching films or playing video games. Children don’t hanker for eliquid, kids don’t get into a frenzy when they run out of House Of Liquid’s Eden – that’s me, I do that.
The very last thing the E.U. needs to be doing is protecting children, what they need to do is help me. They need to help me to stop buying new mods and atomisers. Politicians should realise that it is not normal to have a box containing every diameter of Kanthal and silica and Voodoowool (just in case).
And if politicians can’t go out of their way to recognise the real problem that needs addressing then someone else must.
Somebody must think of the adults!
Help me Obi Wan Toddy, you’re my only hope.
With the growth of the Internet and the possibility to grab an answer from the ether I keep trying to find out where it originated. And I can’t. Transpose ten for a thousand and you have a logical answer in that it refers to drink…or any vice of your choosing.
It could quite easily be that they used ten in place of a thousand so that the syllables canned the line. I don’t know. What I do know is that it is a truism of vaping.
When I started I bought two CE4s and an Ego-style battery. My first mistake was not factoring in charging time and so I bought a second battery.
I’d not quit smoking, I’d achieved that seven years before, this was all about not taking up smoking again. For various reasons I was as close to a return as you can get – suddenly all of those triggers were clicking.
Whenever I parked the bike up and removed my helmet, whenever I’d finished a meal, whenever I’d got a beer…you know the things, you’ve been there. The notion of smoking was beginning to consume me. I thought getting a pipe might work as a controlled step so I spent around four weeks wandering about puffing on an empty pipe. All it did was increase the craving.
A friend introduced me to eCigs and I began my research. I was going to buy an ePipe but didn’t want to pay the prices being asked. The solution seemed to be a rubber pipe-like attachment to an Ego.
But the grip was now there; the quest for a better vape was on. Internet forums had to be the solution, someone would help me, and someone would suggest a bit of kit that would solve my problems.
So, I joined Planet of the Vapes and asked the question every noob asks. The wife, bless her, was fully supportive of anything that stopped me returning to smoking and as this advice was to be the solution she agreed to stump up and buy a Vamo with a pair of Evods and an Aga-T2.
But, like you all know, it never stops there. Not just ‘there’ but it never seems to stop, period.
From time to time she will look at me slightly oddly as I wave around something I’ve received in the post – that quizzical look you get from a dog when it hasn’t got the faintest idea what you are talking about but may involve food or a good walk.
I’ve got the mod rack trimmed down to ten smashing bits of kit and loudly proclaimed that, while waving around a copper Akuma, that this would be the very last mod I buy as I don’t need any more.
Which puts me in mind of another lyric:
“It seems so simple but they just don’t get it.
I meant what I said at the time that I said it.“
And I did mean it.
I meant it as much as any vow taken or any promise made. But…
I’ve just ordered another one, it seems ten wasn’t enough. Giving up fags was easy compared to giving up buying different mods and atomisers.
They were simple to understand and the message was clear (even if sometimes a tad factually inaccurate). I never understood if you were meant to have a tin of white emulsion handy and the door already off its hinges. To be honest, not being a fan of DIY, if I hear those warnings now I’m running out and towards the target as fast as possible.
Don’t get me wrong, I love a good den but the idea of trying to construct one to withstand the detonation of a bomb in the space of five minutes is really going to push my patience to the limits. I would love to meet a person who grew up in a home where a parent had followed all of the Protect & Survive advice.
I wish the government had done a ‘Beginning with genny atomisers’ film though. Forget atom bombs, trying to coil my first genny filled me with dread and, like trying to follow the Protect & Survive guidance, always proved to be an utter waste of time.
Youtube is littered with instructional videos and forums are packed full of advice on how to coil a wick – but it’s invariably contradictory, albeit well meaning. The thing I find with Youtube is that most of the videos appear to have been made by hyperactive descendents of Barrymore’s contestants.
My chosen course of action after weeks of failed attempts was to do exactly the same as my Dad had done to protect us from fallout: nothing. The T2 went into a drawer and stayed there for another month. The reason, I discovered, that there are so many different pieces of advice is the wide array of coiling techniques available. If you are reading this at the start of your genny journey you’ll be nodding like a dog in the back of a 70’s Ford Capri.
The thing is, and this is the important bit, there is no correct way to do it. Despite being averse to DIY I’ve grown fond of attempting different set-ups. Practising the variety on offer will inevitably bring you to one that works for you.
With me it was brushing a cotton wool ball on the head of the mesh wick before coiling, even if the video was made by one of the world’s most annoying men. Like a thermonuclear flash, I lit up and vaped like I’d never vaped before.
It, like the Protect & Survive advice, has now been consigned to the history books as I’ve moved on to pulsing techiques with 400-grade mesh, coils and microcoils. It’s what works for me. Try out different coiling techniques; use the variety Kanthal packs on sale on this site (both ribbon and wire). Try mesh, silica, Voodoowool and steel rod but don’t worry if it doesn’t work first time around, eventually you’ll get the knack.
Before long you’ll be wicking without a second thought and wondering what the worry was about. Then you’ll just have to worry which atty to buy.
Tips:
- Don’t make the coil too tight or too loose.
- Try to make the top of the coil close to the centre post.
- Preheating wire helps it to maintain its shape when coiling.
- In the event of a nuclear attack ensure you have enough precharged batteries and vaping supplies in your shelter.
28
Feb
Feb
It’s a game changer.
It’s going to be totally lit.
A sitewide 15% pre-VAT discount code.
We know yeah!. It’s totally awesome AF.
It may look and vape just like every other discount available on the market, but the very small aesthetic changes we’ve made make it absolutely NEW and INNOVATIVE.
You could use this code on our amazeballs new Battery Tubes. You can use the unique code idea to cut down the price of our Source 510s. You can even go from direct lung to tight MTL by buying some appropriate resistance wire. This thing is versatile and bring you much happy very nice time.
So prepare to part with your monies. Your handchecks will be totally fire. You will become immensely gorgeous and sexually adroit. You will gain social standing and respect amongst your peers. The elite will stand aghast at your innate and palpable awesomeness. All this and oh so much more!!
How to achieve this cutting edge and morally superior state of being? It’s simple. Absolutely anybody can do it if they so choose. It’s even easier than typing an angsty post on Youtube . Honest. It really is that simple and good.
Just use the code DRAMA15 at the checkout page. And lo, you’ll be one of the cliquey anointed few. Be sure to post heavily filtered hanchecks of your newnew on all the available media. We hear Stealthvape FB, Insta, VK and MeWe is where all the cool kids hang out.
Stop arguing with yourselves vapers of the planet and elsewhere! Unite and use the code now!!
