Jeremy was vexed. You could tell that everything was not good with Jeremy’s world from the way he was staring at the screen. The more observant among you would also have noticed the stain on the wall with streaks of brown liquid dripping slowly down to the collection of coffee mug shrapnel on the floor. It would be safe to say that this was not Jeremy’s finest hour. His finest hour was the one where he completed three Sudoku puzzles and an online game of Scrabble against the computer.
Author Archives: Rob Ellard
We at The National Union of Apathetic Vapers would like to extend our gratitude to Stealthvape for allowing us to have this platform to introduce ourselves. Many of you will have experience of standing on platforms, feeling all isolated and wondering if that thing you were expecting will ever arrive. So here it is: The NUAV is arriving far too late, promises you an unimpressive journey and guarantees that our prices will rise faster than inflation. It’s trains; we’re making ourselves seem like trains. Oh sod it.
Choosing to get on the ecig means doing the research, finding out how safe it is and then balancing the risks. We would like to congratulate Rip Trippers in being brave enough to run the gauntlet of online dissatisfaction. The only problem we can identify is that Rip only touched upon the tip of the iceberg that we, as responsible people, feel it is important for all would-be vapers to be aware of.
As a leading commentator on the politics involved in electronic cigarettes, we can confirm a national ban is incoming regardless of the outcome of the European elections. In fact, the Health Secretary has only just got off the phone and told us that E-cigarettes would be completely banned in 2017.
“Dear Stealthvape,” begins most letters we receive, “you are so awesome and stuff but I wonder if you can help me?” Pretty much all of these emails (not requesting used pants) are focussed on the vexing issues regarding vape and travel. So, instead of sending multiple answers we thought we’d tie them all up in one handy to print and use article.
The rain formed grey lines across the cityscape. Dull buildings reached up into the sky in vain attempts to touch the oppressive clouds that robbed everything of its hue. While the little people below scurried from doorways to taxis to computer screens, Vapeman looked on.
They say you should never go back, they say that. They say that about many things. They say it because they believe you only remember the best aspects about whatever it was and have forgotten the aspects that drove you up the wall. They are probably well meaning.
2015 has been an incredible year for vapers, vape companies and the manufacturers of umbrellas. Ecig articles were everywhere and only the word terrorist has appeared more frequently in newspapers. Probably. Over the last day and a half we were inundated by three requests demanding we compile a list of what we considered to be the best things in vaping this year. Always willing to bend to the whims of our customers (unless it is a request for stainless wire) we are delighted to announce The Stealthvape Awards 2015.
It was bitingly cold, every sensible person in the street was by a fire eating crumpets and watching Doctor Who. They could do that because fires hadn’t suffered a de facto ban, proper dense fog ruled the weather and people hadn’t yet realised how bad a choice Sylvester McCoy was. I wasn’t, I was holding a torch while my mate John fixed a spoiler to the boot of his Scirocco. I was losing one of my five senses and the will to live.
There are some mighty big benefits in being able to work from home. I never have to ask myself if it’s OK to pop off to make a coffee for a start. The dress code is as relaxed as the chair I can slump in to pet the puppy (that’s not a euphemism) and ‘Beer Friday’ can run all week long. Yep, life is good: no one complains about the vape clouds and the music runs to an incredibly loud volume. So I’m insulated.
