Retro Vape Chic

It was clear that he was an expert in being carefree and appeared to have his finger on the pulse of fashion trends. Hang on, we thought, what could this mean for the vape community? Every week sees another new swathe of devices launched in some part of the world – but the news that cunning Chinese designers had incorporated a retro nod to their latest atomiser really got us excited.

It is an absolute and undeniable fact that music stopped being good in April 1994. The signs had been there for a while: Chris Deburgh, The Reynolds Girls and Kenny Loggins served up fair warning that things were going pear-shaped. Then Jive Bunny confirmed that all the future held was either noise or compilations to the sound of a drumbeat. Young people might argue differently but they don’t get to choose the music that goes on the car’s stereo.

Chocolate bars are nothing but a memory of what they used to be, lasagne has gone from being ‘continental’ to ironic and pizza is nothing more than a homage to cheese on toast. Who wants to play Fallout on their Playstation 4? Well, a lot of people it seems but that’s only because they’ve not been given the chance to play Manic Miner on a Spectrum. Things were better then.

Today’s celebrities and television hosts all have Essex mockney voices and lack the warmth and charm of Rolf, Jimmy and…err…maybe we’ve got a bit lost on this one. Anyway, moving swiftly on, we want to extend our congratulations to the design team behind the new Fortuna SubOhm Tank Clearomiser. Only true visionaries like us could spot the need for retro chic in vaping.

No man’s Christmas stocking was ever complete in the dark winters of the 1970s unless it contained a sexy lady pen. While their children had to be content with watching a ship sail up and down a tilted barrel, real men got to undress a beautiful woman. And then put the dress back on. It was an age that Vladimir Putin could have felt comfortable in when men were men and women were nothing more than objects. And, in the case of a sexy pen, objects to appear on other objects.

It was an innocent delight that has been robbed from anybody not alive then or who has not been to Skegness for a holiday. Hooray then for the Fortuna SubOhm Tank team releasing an atomiser that removes the clothes from a lady as it gets warmer. Only true visionaries would realise that retro chic must play a part in moving vaping forward and boosting its standing with the global harm reduction community. We salute you.