New Subohm Vaper Danger

While a section of vapers have been seeking out bigger clouds and more flavourful vapes, an insidious and dangerous product has crept into the world of sub-ohm vaping: it goes by the name of the snapback hat.

“I was trying to be a cooler vaper. I tried adding an over-sized hoodie to my vaping, and even experimented with different types of shoes but they weren’t me. Then I settled on the hat. I left the sticker on like all the hip kids and reckoned I looked the bits, but my wife has informed me I resemble a fat 15-yr old white boy who thinks he lives in Downtown LA,” confessed Twitter vape celebrity Bobby Freshwaterdolphin.

But the problem goes beyond the danger of fashion suicide. Bob Jobsworth of Crawley Trading Standards explained: “Seventeen children have been injured so far this year as peaks of snapback hats caught them in the eye. Three individuals have presented at A&E with blood blisters resulting from firm adjuster straps – who is taking responsibility for this?”

Who indeed? No one according to leading market research pollsters EUgov.con. But Jobsworth demands questions should be posed: “There are no warnings, no instructions or safety courses for these things and research shows there’s at least two hundred of them out there. This is a ticking bomb just waiting to go off.”

It can only be a matter of time before the media launch a mass of ecig/snapback stories to further tarnish the cause of harm reduction. Tales such as the serious injuries sustained by Bert Handkerchief who, while completing a run of all the pub’s white spirit optics, placed his MCV Tiger Panzer mod on the bar and ate his cap after his mates told him: “it would be a laugh.”

“Obviously, this isn’t an issue for owners of products made by the big brands, it is only a concern for those hats manufactured in China,” added Jobsworth. “Our advice for snapback hat users everywhere is to look at the label in the first instance; if there’s any indication it was made in the Far East we suggest calling you local Trading Standards officer and asking them to safely dispose of it.”

We called the Trading Standards office in Thurrock to discover if this danger was recognised elsewhere. They confirmed that an emergency response agency has been set up and all snapback-related calls would be prioritised. If you know of anybody needing urgent assistance please make sure that the hat is placed into a sealed container in the first instance prior to calling for help.