New Healthier Products

That’s right – like the rest of the entire globe, we were shocked and traumatised to hear the announcement this week that piggy products could be as dangerous for you as drinking concentrated sulphuric acid or putting Jeremy Hunt in charge of the UK’s health service. Leaving no time for second thoughts, we immediately contacted our production company and rushed through the development of iBacon™, eSausages™ and liquidHam™.

Vapers, with their experience of an electronic substitute to detrimental alternatives are ahead of the field and will welcome this exciting development with open arms. We sent a sample pack to No.10 but, since he left his career in PR, David Cameron is uncomfortable plugging pigs, battery powered or otherwise.

How have we achieved this marvel of the modern age? Firstly, we optimised the neural network of the standard porker using nickel wire and packs of Cotton Bacon, fed them a steady diet of 18350s and rewired the tail to accommodate a fuse. Bam! An instant source of electronic pig meals!

Vapourised bacon has been shown to be at least 95% safer than the smoked variety in tests carried out by researchers from Hamsterdam. “It snort rash claims,” said Doctor Babe. “We’ve been celebrating the publication of the work with bottles of swine.”

Stealthvape is very cognisant of other potential dangers posed by things we love and therefore people might like to ban. We are currently applying the same techniques to develop electronic beer, chicken curry and weekends.

iBacon™, eSausages™ and liquidHam™ will be available on the site soon and we welcome applications from vendors who would like to stick their snouts in and hog supplies.