Stench Blossoms and Crapweeds

An odd opening for a blog post about the bullying tactics of a Big T company and an impending name change for the OCD range of products sold on the website but I’m certain all will become clear as the sentences roll by.

If you are reading this on the Stealthvape blog then you’ll already be familiar with the popular OCD washers and OCD connectors. Rob spent ages wrestling with the design concepts before getting them produced – an original product put together and sold by a British vaping company.

The name was highly appropriate given the shudders that accompany the sight of an atomiser perched above a mod with a large gap screaming “I’m sooooo wrong!” A name so apt Rob sought and obtained an official trademark from the Intellectual Property Office for it.

“So,” you’re asking “what’s all this OCD name change stuff?” Well you are asking that or busy removing some errant Kanthal from a bare toe. In order to answer that question you need to ponder a different one: where do bullies go to work when they grow up?

Lucy in the Charlie Brown comic strips – who on Earth would employ such a venal excuse for girlhood? Nelson from the Simpsons, that git from the Karate Kid and Biff from Back To The Future; no one in their right mind would hire these sociopaths.

The answer, dear friends, is that all of them go on to qualify as lawyers and make a fat living in the legal departments of tobacco companies. Even Draco Malfoy is a work experience lad in one. Honest. He is kept busy every day by Jabba the Hutt LLB.

It was probably Lord Sauron who dictated the letter send from Republic Technologies International complaining about the letters OCD. Apparently this company find the letters far too similar to their OCB brand. What do you mean you’ve never heard of OCB? Everyone must have heard of their fag papers. No? Oh, I’m not alone then.

The OCD trademark is for: “Class 34 Electronic cigarettes; components, parts and accessories for the aforesaid goods.”

The OCB trademark is for: “Class 14 Jewellery, fashion jewellery, timepieces.
Class 25 Clothing, footwear, headgear. Class 34 Tobacco, including smoking tobacco, cigarettes, smokers’ articles, including cigarette paper in booklets or in tubes, automatic boxes for rolling cigarettes, cigarette-rolling machines, tube-filling machines, filter tips, metal cases.”

So, the brands have different names, are aimed at different markets and are fundamentally totally different products. This matters little to RepTech and they demanded a removal of the OCD brand name. Given a pot of money to fight an expensive legal case it seems abundantly clear that Damien Thorn and his legal associates would be laughed out of court.

Politeness forbids me from using the exact words I’d commonly opt for to describe the company and their actions. But then nouns, as Homer Simpson illustrated, can be interchangeable. Which means that I can say, without fear of contradiction, that RepTech and their lawyers are a bunch of roses. Just my opinion as the author of this article and not that of Stealthvape, one which you might agree with or not.

A bunch of roses, crapweeds, stink blossoms and scumdrops.